Things That Aren't Therapy
I was in therapy for a year. It was good! My therapist's name was the same as a famous comedian and every time she emailed me I thought "IS THIS IT?" but it was obviously always my therapist and never the famous comedian.
Then my therapist moved to Westchester and I thought, "well I'm fine now anyway, therapy has already Solved My Problems." I replaced therapy with a lot of things that feel good—and might even be good—but are not, in fact, replacements for therapy.
Buying fresh new notebooks, free from water damage or banner ad copy or bad ideas
Looking at my savings account slowly grow
Listening to podcasts 24/7 in order to drown out my own thoughts
Tracking my caloric intake
Rewatching The Good Place (but this feels close)
Obsessively following the news
Looking at dogs I can't pet on Instagram
Meditating, but only right before bed when I'm going to fall asleep anyway.
Cheap sushi that is good enough
Faving good tweets
Spending $5 a week on Angry Birds gems so I can enjoy a better gameplay experience
Congratulating myself if I make it to the gym once a week
Checking how many searches I appeared in on LinkedIn
Watching stand up comedians joke about the progress they're making in their own therapy
Buying one-time-use shirts from Old Navy that never survive the washing machine, even if I hang-dry
Eating vegan ice cream even though I really want normal ice cream
And here's numbers 19-21: Searching for therapists on Psychology Today, then sending a burst of emails, then never following up. It's hard! But it's not actually that hard. I'm gonna try again now.