Things That Aren't Therapy
I was in therapy for a year. It was good! My therapist's name was the same as a famous comedian and every time she emailed me I thought "IS THIS IT?" but it was obviously always my therapist and never the famous comedian.
Then my therapist moved to Westchester and I thought, "well I'm fine now anyway, therapy has already Solved My Problems." I replaced therapy with a lot of things that feel good—and might even be good—but are not, in fact, replacements for therapy.
- Buying fresh new notebooks, free from water damage or banner ad copy or bad ideas
- Looking at my savings account slowly grow
- Listening to podcasts 24/7 in order to drown out my own thoughts
- Tracking my caloric intake
- Rewatching The Good Place (but this feels close)
- Obsessively following the news
- Looking at dogs I can't pet on Instagram
- Meditating, but only right before bed when I'm going to fall asleep anyway.
- Cheap sushi that is good enough
- Faving good tweets
- Spending $5 a week on Angry Birds gems so I can enjoy a better gameplay experience
- Congratulating myself if I make it to the gym once a week
- Checking how many searches I appeared in on LinkedIn
- Watching stand up comedians joke about the progress they're making in their own therapy
- Buying one-time-use shirts from Old Navy that never survive the washing machine, even if I hang-dry
- Using boybrow
- Eating vegan ice cream even though I really want normal ice cream
And here's numbers 19-21: Searching for therapists on Psychology Today, then sending a burst of emails, then never following up. It's hard! But it's not actually that hard. I'm gonna try again now.