Right after I graduated college, I wrote a blog post exploring possible hobbies I could pick up. It's been 2.5 years, almost as long as I was actually in college, and I've tried just one of the 8 hobbies I listed. But sometime after I moved to Boston, I haven't determined exactly when, I finally found my calling. It's hard boiling eggs. I'm excellent at it. And now I'm going to spread the gospel.

Here are the 3 definitive methods to boiling the perfect eggs.

Method One: Just Boil 'Em.

You need an egg-timer for this one. Probably.

Step 1: Fill a medium pot with enough cold water to cover your eggs in 1 inch of water. Put your egg timer in the pot, too. 

Step 2: Put the pot on the stove on medium heat, uncovered

Step 3: Add a splash of white vinegar, if you have it. If you don't have it, don't add it. Live your truth.

Step 4: Walk away from your eggs and turn on Dance Moms. Watch about 10 minutes of Dance Moms, then start to stalk all the Dance Moms dancers on Instagram. Feel a little weird about it because they're like 13, but don't stop. Go down, down, down the rabbit hole until you've blown through 3 or 4 random fan accounts for each girl, and then suddenly realize you haven't been keeping track of your eggs at all.

Step 5: Check on your eggs. If the egg timer indicates they are at "medium," congratulations, you've nailed it. If the egg timer has changed colors completely, congratulations, you probably didn't nail it, but the eggs are still gonna be fine.

Step 6: Drain the eggs and cover them in cold running water to stop them from cooking. Hope for the best.

Method Two: Steam 'Em

Step 1: Fill a medium pot with enough cold water to cover your eggs in 1 inch of water. 

Step 2: Put the pot on the stove on medium heat, uncovered.

Step 3: Add a splash of white vinegar, if you have it. If you don't have it, don't add it. Live your truth.

Step 4: Watch the pot until it boils. Think to yourself, "My mom always said a watched pot never boils, and she was right, this is awful." Add some salt to the water. 

Step 5: Once the water has boiled, remove the pot from the heat and cover it. Set a timer for 3 minutes for very soft boiled eggs, 4 for medium, 6 for hard boiled. 

Step 6: Sit down on the couch and open your mobile game of choice. I recommend Two Dots or Toy Blast. Get stuck on whatever level you've been stuck on, and use all your lives. Put your phone on airplane mode, open your settings-->general-->date and time, and set the time to 2-3 hours in the future. Open the game again and let it register the new time. Go back to your settings and set the time to automatic again, and then take your phone off airplane mode. Congratulations, you have a full set of lives. Win your level! 

Step 7: Realize that when you changed the time, you messed up the timer. Whoops! Drain the eggs and cover them in cold running water to stop them from cooking. Hope for the best.

Method 3: Boil And Drop 'Em

Step 1: Fill a medium pot with hot water

Step 2: Put the pot on the stove on high heat, covered.

Step 3: Add a splash of white vinegar, if you have it. If you don't have it, don't add it. Live your truth.

Step 4: Watch the pot until it boils. Think to yourself, "My mom always said a watched pot never boils," so just walk away from the pot. Tell your roommate about the weird dream you had last night, wherein you were at a Marriott hotel and you had a French oral exam. You had to choose a topic to talk about out of a hat, and you somehow drew the topic of abortion. Sure. You went into the testing room and spoke about women's health at length to a rabbi that looked like Larry King, and then after you were done, you started getting texts from your sister Katie saying "congratulations, the Rabbi said you won the exam! You changed his mind!" Then you went in to thank the Rabbi for saying such nice things about you to your sister, and he was just sleeping on the floor with a bunch of yoga mats scattered around. You rolled up the yoga mats quietly without disturbing him because you're a mensch. 

Step 5: Halfway through the dream, when your other roommate comes home, start telling her about it from the beginning.  When your first roommate leaves quietly because she's just trying to study for the bar and you won't shut up, it's time to check if your egg water is boiling.

Step 6: Once the water is boiling, reduce the heat to low. Then carefully lower each egg into the simmering water. Be careful, because if you just plop them in, they'll break! 

Step 7: Boil the eggs for 8-12 minutes, depending on how hard you like them. Set the timer on the microwave so you can't mess it up this time, you fool. 

Step 8: Drain the eggs and cover them in cold running water to stop them from cooking. Hope for the best.

So there you have it, the 3 fool-proof methods for making the perfect hard boiled egg. Enjoy!

I took meticulous notes at jury duty. They are unstructured and underwhelming, much like my jury duty experience. Enjoy!

It took me an hour and a half to drive here. I'm in a room full of white people-- literally, we are all white. Truly a jury of my peers. The website told me to pack some work to do and some snacks, a suggestion I have never taken lightly. Then, when I arrived, the security guard made a joke about how I don't travel lightly. UM, SIR, I WAS FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS? I joked back, "I am a nester." I'm like a mom with a huge bag full of toys for her toddler, but I am also like the toddler.

There are two middle aged white men sitting in the front row of this jury waiting room. They have nothing and everything in common in the way that only white men can. 

Now we're watching a video, and this judge keeps gesticulating wildly and saying that I, Kelly Fine, am advancing the cause of justice. He said the justice system relies on me! He pointed at me with finger guns! He said he knows I can "rise to the occasion" when I get to the jury box. I hope he's right!

Oh God, the history section of this video starts at the Magna Carta. We're going to be here a while.

People are really proud of the Massachusetts constitution, which ALLEGEDLY was used as a guide for the US constitution. I forget that people are proud to be from states other than Texas. I wonder when I'll stop forgetting that. Probably never, I guess!

Women couldn't serve on a jury until 1950. We have come so far but not like THAT far.

"Today our juries are diverse in every way," the video preaches to us, a choir of white people.

The video is done. Now we sit. My phone battery is already down to 78%.

That 15 minute video earned us a 30 minute break! So I jogged to the corner store and purcahsed some tampons, because you never know, and I can't think of a worse place to free bleed than a courthouse in Wrentham, Massachusetts, USA. Now the tampon box is sticking out of my backpack and the man next to me looks concerned, so I just looked him in the face and dry swallowed 2 advil without breaking eye contact. Watch me advance the cause of justice while my insides are screaming in pain, sir. #ImWithHer

It's been an hour, so our half hour break is officially over. I'm down to 67% and I'm getting nervous about it.

This courthouse is the cardboard tampon applicator of courthouses. 

We are still waiting. I beat level 570 of Two Dots! My battery is at 54% :(

Now it's almost noon, and we get to go home. They didn't need a jury after all. I feel like I've certainly risen to this occasion.